Letters to Love Never Dies
by funnygirlha
Summary: The characters from Phantom write letters to Andrew Loyd Webber. FUNNINESS AND CRAZYNESS INSURED!
1. Erik's letter

Dear Andrew Lloyd Webber,

Hello I am writing to you about Love Never Dies and while you know about some of the problems with it there is one seen that bothers we extremely. In the last scene as you know Meg has the gun and I am singing to her to "put down the gun Meg"and straight after that "we can't all be like Christine"! Now I stress this why would I say that. I am a genius and I would not make that mistake! Also I am a professional assassin if Meg was holding a gun couldn't I just Punjab her you know use the whole magic lasso! I mean really I wouldn't sing to her I would do something to save my dear Christine! Even if I did sing I would not sing about her imperfections how she feels ugly and used and how she can't be like Christine! I mean Christine dies because of me. I killed Christine how is that a good ending! Honestly if you do a sequel to my story give the respect of giving me the girl. Thank you for listening and you better fix these issues sir or else great misfortunes shall occur to you.

No longer your humble servant

O.G


	2. Meg's letter

Dear Andrew Lloyd Webber,

Why! That is my main point why mess me up. I was a sweet little ballerina you made me into a murderer with a horrible case of the acting bug. Seriously bathing beauty how low would you go to ruin my character? Sorry to ruin your little movie but how can I go to a sweet ballerina who sings angel of music with Christine to the person who shoots her! I love Christine I would never kill her or hold a boy hostage honestly you owe me an apology. And next what is with my love of Erik. Sure 10 years can change a lot I can't argue with that but I think you went overboard. Worse of all you made me the villain. Seriously you ruined my image. Just go on any website and you'll see all the Meg/Erik stories are now stories where I plan to murder them all. I mean I always thought I would become a ballerina not a "bathing beauty". The costumes are ridiculous I mean how did I go from tutus (which I love) to the outfit I wore in my beginning number. I demand an apology and a rewrite.

The now ex-ballerina

Meg


	3. Chritine's letter

Dear Andrew Lloyd Webber,

Why do you hate me! There are so many problems with love never dies on my behalf that I wish to talk to you about. First of all my love with Erik and our history means a lot more than a one night stand! Erik would never leave me he loves me and if he did leave can you please make there be a better excuse honestly his face while horrible isn't the excuse for every mistake he makes! Also how stupid do you think I am, if I got a letter welcoming me to Phantasma wouldn't I think the phantom was related to this place I mean honestly PHANtasma it's like saying hey come here to get the phantom! Also the whole point of Erik's love and change of character was that he lets me go in the end to be with Raoul he can't just call me back 10 years later and be like I changed my mind. Another thing is that two men were betting on me. I don't care what time era it may be you do not make a bet on me especially with ought me knowing. I mean honestly how you could do that I am a person not a trophy! Then there's the ending, why would you kill me! Seriously what did I do to you (except for giving you a story that got you millions of dollars)? You don't even let me day with the honor of saving my son you made Erik kill me with his stupidity! Finally my last complain is this: why would you make me the kind of mother who lets her child randomly go running around circus freaks and all that other horrible stuff. I am a responsible mother I would not go "yes Gustave you can go running around Phantasma just don't get close to the water" seriously that is like begging for trouble!

RIP soprano

Christine daee


	4. Raoul's letter

Dear Andrew Lloyd Webber,

Now we have a problem. Are you an E/C worshipper because you are honestly ruining me. First in the 2004 movie you give me foppish hair and a Christine that obviously wants the phantom and now this. While in many versions I do have issues (you know the usual) I have never ever been called a drunk. So here's what you did you turned me from the slightly foppish viscount who loves and values Christine to a drunken fool who bet away the fortune. Worse is that not only do I ruin my life in this version I hurt Christine and Gustave too. Why I swear if I didn't know better id call you a fan girl! That's right; another thing is that I don't even get a good song in this. Ok so All I Ask Of You was cheesy but it was romantic and heartfelt, the only songs I get in this musical is where I'm wallowing in pity, drunk, screaming about an "what an outrage a slap in the face", singing about how stupid and evil I am" I try and clip her wings why does she love me". Even at the end where you give me one good opportunity at being sweet the whole point of that song is me trying to win Christine in a bet. Now I may be foppish (in the book I was described as raised purely femininely) but if I was raised so "femininely" I would not bet against my love. Worse is that you made me lose everything honestly I'm lucky you didn't decide to kill me off to. I swear I will get my revenge on you. Why would you make Christine's only child be the phantoms. That is cruel. What worse is that my son doesn't even care he is like oh my mom died let me go with this stranger who I just met and not wonders about the man that raised. I will not let you continue to ruin me and my once good name.

Not a drunk

Rauol de Chagny


	5. Madame Giry's letter

Dear Andrew Lloyd Webber,

Why make me the worst mother imaginable? I am a wonderful parent not the horrible mother you make me seem to be. I would never let Meg run around Coney Island or let her wear horrible outfits. I'm not the kind of parent who would let her daughter earn money that way. Another thing is that not only did you ruin my daughters reputation you ruined mine too! You made me from being strict and caring to cruel. Christine was like a daughter too me I would never wish for "perhaps she won't go on perhaps she'll loose her nerve perhaps her voice won't serve and she will fail and me and my child will get what we deserve" which brings me to another thing I am not greedy. In Love Never Dies you made me horribly greedy I would not plan against a person (Gustave) just to get a Erik's will. Finally I get no credit at all throughout the entire production. Like in the song "where was she when the mob surrounded you who was there we where there. Where was she when the lawman hounded you…? Who gave you their very lives Meg and I. I get no credit for helping Erik all I get is a mentally unstable daughter (thanks Webber), a bad grudge against humanity, and a lot of loud cruel songs.

One angry mother

Madame Giry


	6. Erik's final letter

Dear Andrew Lloyd Webber,

I know I have written to you before but I write again simply because I feel that I missed out on some major issues. First of all I understand that the name Mr.Y is supposed to be based on the word mystery but have you ever thought that maybe my name could be Mr.E I mean why Mr.Y honestly. Also how did I go from Don John Triumphant to Bathing Beauty? Bathing Beauty is the worst song in history it is I think I more annoying than any other opera work. Another thing is I know Bathing Beauty was supposed to be terrible but one would wonder why I would make something so terrible. Th4en there is the Christine robot honestly I think I got over my Christine dolls I mean I would rather have a drawing or song but not a robot. This brings me to the point of me making crazy robots. Now I know I'm a little ummm unstable but making a huge gorilla is too crazy even for me. Then there are complaints about the lyrics to the songs (just think about beneath a moonless sky). Then there is the fact that apparently I'm a bar tender. Now I know that I have had some special jobs like building torture chambers but a bar tender that's pretty low. Don't even get me started on the fact that I was supposed to die RIGHT after the book ended or the fact that Christine means more to me than a one night stand really there is nothing right about LOVE NEVER DIES. And my last issue is the fact that I take of my mask for Gustave. Now why would I do that? I didn't even take my mask of for Christine who I had known since she was a little girl; she had to take it off. Why would I do it for Gustave, a young child who I have never seen before? I hope there are changes made to the show or else a tragedy beyond your imagination will occur. Pick the grasshopper (leaving the show how it is) or the scorpion (changing it forever).

Will never be your humble servant

0.G


	7. Phan letters wanted

Dear Andrew Lloyd Webber,

This is us fans talking and we think that you should listen to our complaints ill start off with mine. I'm an E/C shipper but try not to be a Raoul basher. I love Meg and Madame Giry and I think you owe them all a deep apology. Some things I want to point out are

Why is Madame Giry still the only one with a French accent

Who in the word designs meg costumes I mean they are supposed to be revealing but I feel bad for the kids in the audience

Why would you pick a novel with over 100 one star reviews on most shopping websites like Amazon to make into a musical

Well now it is up to you fans. Leave a review with your comments on what should be changed or your complaints. If I missed anything I would love to include it and thank you for everyone who did review.

Be prepared to get a lot of complaints

The author


	8. the phans write

Dear Andrew Lloyd Webber,

The phantom of the opera was beautiful tale one that you helped restore to the greatest shine it has had for a long time however then you decided to mess it up… I am here with the phans who all agree you where wrong. Fist though lets start out with me. I am the author all mighty (Erik takes over) and annoying. (I take the keyboard back). Andrew Erik is with me along with phans and we have decided to point out more things wrong. Why you ask. Because you haven't even sent us a letter back. One point I want to bring up is why you called it love never dies. Because with Christine the love does die. Basically the title is its own spoiler. Wouldn't a better title be "love never dies it lives on with a one night stand" or "lover never ides unless the characters all do a 180" or even love never dies it gets murdered by a prostitute". On the bright side love never dies is better than once upon another time.

Crazyone256 wrote

WHY DID YOU LET CHRISTINE HAVE RAOUL? Erik is so much better than that FOP! I am sorry but it's true! Please write a better version with Erik getting Christine.

Minawesterna wants to say:

I totally agree with you. Romantic, dark and gorgeous POTO is now drab soap opera where Christine is a cheater, Raoul is nasty drunk (please!), poor Meg is admittedly sympathetic, mentally unstable prostitute who tries to kill Gustave and then kills Christine, and Phantom is much younger than before (!) and a boring jerk.

Lady cavalier wrote

Poor Raoul. Shall we pity him? Shall we hate him? All he wanted was to play the knight and save the princess. He had a character that could have played the prince, and (because of ALW) he had to play a drunkard. Man, Christine. 0.0 I didn't know he did all THAT too. They BET on you? Erik? We're running out of male characters with integrity here. (I'll see what can be done about that. *whistles to phangirl-mob/stage crew* Alright girls, go round up the Persian!) Anyway, I am SO never watching that thing. It was ERIK'S fault you died? ...Oh, Webber is SO going down. That insane pig! And also don't worry, Meg! You have sympathy with us! . There are plenty of E/M stories on . Meanwhile, I will begin concocting plans for a revult against Webber.

Love should just die wants to tell you this:

.  
>Honestly, what possessed ALW to write that train wreck of a sequel? I mean I'm sure if it had nothing to do with our dear Phantom cast and had it been an original musical, I'm sure I would have liked it, maybe even appreciated it a bit. Oh, and poor Meg! Her character was butchered beyond recognition...oh and RAOUL! I could handle Raoul-bashing (heck, I was even a fop-hater once!) But this... this took all the badly written Vicomte stories in the Phantom verse and rolled it into some huge, official wad of FAIL. My sympathies, Raoul de Changy...It just doesn't make sense and it makes my phantom-philled brain cry... Aww...poor, unhappy Meg! True, she was an adorable ballerina before all that. Can't wait for the next one! Till then, I remain,<p>

Alterapars87 says this:

Oh, I have a need too urgent to deny: to rant about LND on and on XD

and when I think about it, maybe I feel the deepest sympathy for Meg, poor misfortunate girl...

A lot of us share your opinion ;)

So see Webber a lot of us share your opinion and if you think the critic reviews for this where scary have you even seen an angry mob of fan girls. Please write back. This is probably one of the last letters we will send to you and then we will send out Erik be scared Webber be very scared (or at least worried)

Yours truly

The author


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